Ambivalence
by B3trayal14
Summary: I can't deal with the stuff you put me through. Do you want me or not? Do you love her or do you love me? If you can't answer, then please just let me go. #SasuNaru #SasuSaku #KyuuNaru #NejiGaa #KaGaa


**Warnings:** Boy's Love, Explicit Language, M-Rated

 **Chapter 1: Sorry**

Naruto looked around their room. Clothes were strewn around and _definitely_ , none of it his.

 _Do you really want to torture me that much knowing how much I love you?_

Tears welled up in Naruto's blue, cold eyes. The fire that raged in his eyes since the moment he realized that he loved Sasuke, his best friend, was dwindling by the minutes. The bastard.

Sasuke knew Naruto's feelings. Hell, more than known, he's even tried with Naruto out of curiosity, going so far as to even having sex with him. It wasn't out of spite, however. Whether the raven knew it or not, he was keeping Naruto on a tight leash while living a life of a lie with an official fiancee by his side.

One minute he was grinding Naruto against the wall, oblivious to all. The next, he's indifferently whispering sweet nothings to his fiancee as if he and Naruto weren't just doing the dirty.

Naruto couldn't take it anymore. He had to leave. He couldn't be anywhere near the bastard anymore, even if he was used to this facade of "just friends" that Sasuke was pulling.

 _You teme. If I knew...if I knew, I would've stopped myself from falling even further long ago._

Naruto brushed a stray tear and fought to keep his despair low. _Who am I kidding? No one's capable of avoiding love, especially people who wear their hearts on their sleeves like me..._

If he wanted to save himself from falling to the point of no return, he'd have to work fast. There was only so much time until the bastard came back. With his girlfriend Sakura of course...

He strutted upstairs, grabbed all of his belongings and stuffed it into a bag, which wasn't much. He teared off a small, white sheet of paper and wrote in neat handwriting a small farewell with an added sorry.

 _This time. This time, I'll be the one to walk away. The one to break off our relationship for the better. I'm sorry Sasuke. I love you, but I can't watch you be with another. I'll leave if it means your happiness...This is for the best…_

Tears finally sprung freely as Naruto closed the door to their apartment, mixed feelings of wanting to stay yet a strong anxiousness to get away.

 _This is goodbye, Sasuke._

* * *

Sasuke knew something was very wrong when he came home with Sakura to an empty apartment. There were no locks of blonde hair to be found, no dobe's stupid laughter coming from their room, nor even a hint of Naruto having been there.

Somehow, it was….quite lonely, even with Sakura there.

 _Weird. Naruto's usually here by now. No matter_ , the Uchiha thought, _Naruto will surely come home later_.

6 O'clock p.m. Still no Naruto.

Sakura tried to distract Sasuke by flirting and pressing herself against him, but he just wasn't in the mood and pushed her away. She looked at him incredulously, and just kept to herself as they decided to watch a movie.

8 O'clock p.m. _Where the hell is the dobe?_

Sasuke tried calling Naruto but ended up with an automatic voicemail.

 _Naruto couldn't...be in trouble, could he?_

This happened before where a rival gang of the Namikaze group had kidnapped Naruto to threaten Minato and Kushina. Luckily Naruto was able to sneak away and send Sasuke a small text message about where he was before they found him and made sure to give him a good beating. There were also hints of having touched the blonde in places unacceptable, though not getting very far. Even so, Sasuke had made sure they paid. And pay they did, even regretting having touched a single strand of Naruto's hair. Up to this day, the punishment lingered heavily, and even the thought of death was more favorable as Sasuke's rage haunted their very minds.

Panicking, Sasuke excused himself from Sakura's presence to check the whole apartment. As he walked to their room, he could just imagine the blonde in bed, probably just sick or something, and laughing off Sasuke's worry.

Nope. There was no blonde in bed. Even more than that, there was none of those aquatic blue sheets that Naruto loved, no clothes of his, no nothing.

Unconsciously, Sasuke tugged a hand at his hair, almost ripping the damn thing out of sheer worry, anger, maybe even guilt.

He opened and slammed drawers, checking their room's bathroom to check if Naruto would be in there, his stupid smile and all. Nothing.

He closed the door of the bathroom and slid down on it, putting his head into his pale hands.

Sasuke shut out the world. He heard nothing. Saw nothing.

Their mysteriously opened window blew in fresh air and that's when a piece of ripped paper flew near Sasuke's crouched figure.

Sasuke eyed it, thinking it unimportant and part of some trash Naruto left behind. But it wasn't. It was Naruto's handwriting, neat but still so obviously strained.

 _Sorry, Sasuke. Sorry for leaving without a word. Do not come looking for me. I'm somewhere safe. Forgive me. Goodbye._

\- Naruto

The paper looked a bit sorry too, and Sasuke could just imagine the blonde erasing the paper over and over again, trying to write it as neatly as possible. Although a few tear stains did mark the paper as well.

Well, atleast now he knew that Naruto wasn't somewhere dangerous although the paper was a bit too short for explanation.

 _But where did he go? Was he just going to leave Sasuke like this? When was he coming back? Why did he leave? Did he have to take all that he had with him?_ Now there was nothing of Naruto's except a blue, stone necklace that Naruto had given him as a present and the piece of paper he'd left behind. To say it was devastating for the Uchiha was an understatement. From that day on, it was as if Sasuke lost himself. A part of him, at least. He turned cold, even to Itachi. Sakura received the brunt of it, as if she was to be blamed for Naruto's absence. No one was able to replace Naruto, even with the friendship of Neji from the Hyuuga group.

Sasuke and Neji were too alike in more ways than one. They both suffered the absence of an important person, and even more so in their personality. That was one of the reasons why they were such great friends, and even rivals to boot. The Yakuza world was not an unknown one. In fact, Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara were born into it. Unkind as it was, it was all too familiar to leave behind, and was the reason why all of them had even met. They all knew the hardships being yakuza: their safety was at risk, public discrimination was to be expected, and even their friendships were hard to maintain. But by knowing that relationships were all very strained in the Yakuza world, they all held on stronger, afraid that by letting go, it would be the worse thing that they could do.

* * *

 **5 Years Later: Shinjuku, Tokyo**

A blonde rolled his suitcase down from a private plane.

"Kyuu!" he hissed behind him at a tall, strapping redhead with piercings.

"Coming, coming. Don't get your panties in a knot, princess."

The blonde fumed at him, obviously annoyed that Kyuubi had hinted that he was wearing panties. Blue panties, to be exact.

Naruto was finally back. Back in his home. His country. All that he's left behind him has come surging back as he took a good look at the cherry blossoms growing in the distances, the many houses and train stations from afar.

And _Sasuke._

Cerulean eyes wavered a little at the thought, but calmed it down.

This action did not escape Kyuubi's eyes.

A hand snakes itself around Naruto's lithe body, grabbing a plump ass and squeezing. Hard.

Naruto's milky tan face turned scarlet in an instant. He reached a hand back onto Kyuubi's hand and pinched him.

"If I knew you loved asses so much...there's plenty of jerks around to fill that position," the blonde smiled cunningly at Kyuubi, the redhead's masculine fingers still probing around.

Kyuubi who in turn did not find it one bit amusing, pulled and groped Naruto some more, earning delectable squeaks from the blonde.

"U-UM, SIR?"

"What is it," Kyuubi basically snarled at the man in an ugly shade of green who had interrupted his groping.

"U-UM, I'M HERE TO ASSIST WITH YOUR BAGGAGE, SIR! IF YOU WILL PLEASE LET ME TAKE YOUR STUFF, I WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR CAR."

Orange tinted irises flickered back and forth between the assistant's smoldering green uniform and his old-fashioned bowl-cut hair. Although he was very...unattractive, he seemed very enthusiastic about assisting them, so Kyuubi grunted nonchalantly to say yes.

"GREAT, LET ME JUST TAKE YOUR BAGS THEN," the assistant Lee, his name tag read, smiled and proceeded to lift both of their suit cases and show them the way.

As Lee began to put their suitcases into limousine, Kyuubi kept feeling Naruto's butt.

"Thank you for your much appreciated assistance, Lee," Naruto gave a gentle smile his way while pinching Kyuubi's muscular arm.

"NO PROBLEM, I'M HAPPY TO HELP!"

The window of their limousine scrolled up and the blonde and redhead sat in comfortable silence. That was, until Kyuubi snuck a hand up Naruto's thighs and jerked the smaller man onto his lap.

"K-Kyuubi! What are you doing?!"

Naruto sat straddling Kyuubi's lap, shouting profanities at the man while his face gushed a clear, heated red.

"What other reasons is there for you to be on my lap? We're having se-"

Naruto quickly covered Kyuubi's mouth with both hands not wanting their driver to hear them.

"Are you crazy? Now's not the time to be fucking ar- ah!"

Kyuubi bucked and rolled his hips against Naruto's, increasing the friction as he went. To further break Naruto's resolve, Kyuubi let his tongue smother Naruto's fingers with saliva.

" _Ahhh- Kyuubi!_ "

Kyuubi loved that voice. More than loved. He craved it. Wanted it. Naruto was incredibly sexy when he went into that voice, as if he was in complete paradise.

Noticing the slowing of Kyuubi's movement, Naruto wrapped his arms around Kyuubi's neck and pulled lightly at the hair there. He urged Kyuubi closer and rubbed himself at Kyuubi's pace, albeit a bit faster.

" _Kyuu_ ," he whispered, " _fuck me_."

Kyuubi's eyes widened and he grabbed Naruto, pushed him against one of the doors of the car and proceeded to slide off the blonde's blue skinny jeans.

" _You can't stop me from going all the way_ ," the redhead all but growled.

Naruto didn't even need words. Instead, he bit Kyuubi's earlobes suggestively.

The redhead needed no more confirmation than that. He pulled Naruto's 'panties' down and worked a hand onto the blonde's erection.

* * *

 **Somewhere in Shinjuku**

Sasuke was just taking a stroll around one of the new places that his dad had taken over. It was to be made into a new company, of course. The Uchiha corporation was one of the most successful companies out there. Although the public did not know about the Yakuza group connected to the company, it still functioned to help the group for funds and whatnot against rivals. It was a show of power. Dominance. Success. Authority.

As pleasing as it was, going public as one of the heirs to the Uchiha company was irritating for Sasuke. Fangirls tried to sabotage him day in and day out, kept out by his power, wealth, and glare.

The only person he would ever bring himself to feel comfortable over….was already gone.

After that day, Sasuke went everywhere to look for the dobe. He went to their school, frantically, but in an Uchiha-ly way, had asked around Naruto's other buds, Kiba, Shikamaru, Chouji, none of which have seen or heard about the blonde's disappearance. He scraped at anyone and everyone for answers, as if they were all in on a joke and was playing him. His attempts could be described as grave, even desperate.

Furthermore, Naruto's parents even refused to give any information as they were told to not reveal his whereabouts, except that it was for Naruto's protection.

Sasuke was hurt. He felt betrayed. Wasn't the dobe supposed to have his back? Every day his thoughts were rampaged solely by Naruto. Naruto, Naruto, Naruto. His utter confusion, anger, and despair.

Sasuke lingered around the area with a cup of starbucks coffee, hoping to find information about the area, though not really venturing for anything in particular.

He came to a big street, cars zooming past, back and forth. And then he saw a limousine. He could care less about any limousines to be honest, but the tuft of blonde hair pressed against the window _inside_ the limousine was what caught his attention.

 _Naruto._

His feet was sprinting, starbucks coffee tossed to the side forgotten, and now he was full-out running.

This person may have not even been Naruto...but there was rarely anyone with hair as purely blonde as the one he saw through the window in Japan, even yankees who liked to look tough and rebellious. He also saw tints of red but that was the background. Not something he really cared about. At least not yet.

His breath was raspy, desperate to catch the limousine before the light turned green.

People gave him weird looks, but he didn't care. He was Sasuke Uchiha. And now, it was the only chance he had to see Naruto. To find him. He couldn't let that go now, could he?

Observing the blonde locks, the raven noticed that a palm was pressing against the window, the head appeared to be pushed against the window fervently, and then he realized. This person, probably Naruto, was getting fucked.

Now, the Uchiha was just angry. He wasn't sure about interrupting them, but at the same time, he was enraged that Naruto, Naruto the one who loved him with all his being, Naruto his best friend, Naruto his most special person, was getting car fucked by someone other than Sasuke.

Sasuke was so irritated at that thought that when he had reached the limousine's side, his fists came right onto the windows, thumping loudly and scaring whoever's head was pressed against the window. His fists almost broke the bullet proof glass right then and there.

The head craned around.

At first, Sasuke couldn't really make out the features that much because the windows were shaded, but when he did, he was staring right into azure eyes, the ones he'd been longing 5 years to see.

Naruto's eyes widened incredulously at the sight of Sasuke.

The raven was wearing a suit but it looked like at some point, his outer jacket was shed, leaving him with only his shirt. He was panting hard and ravenously looking at Naruto as if Naruto had died off some time ago and had came back as a ghost.

"S-Sasuke?!"

Kyuubi growled and pulled Naruto away from the window, hands possessively wrapped around Naruto's waist.

"Kyuu?" Naruto turned a little to the side to look at his lover.

Sasuke's eyes immediately became infuriated.

 _The nerve of that fucking redhead!_

He tried to open the door but instead, had succeeded in breaking the handle.

The light turned green. And the limousine was gone.

Sasuke stood dangerously in the street, horns honking but he didn't care. Naruto was back. And Sasuke was going to castrate whoever was in that limousine with him.

 _To be continued._

* * *

 **A/N:** I should be updating my other stories...but gotta get these ideas out first! :))


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